I sometimes feel stupid being a virgin. I have dated guys and kissed them I am just have never had a serious relationship that I have wanted to have sex with a guy. I feel like a loser for being so old and so inexperienced. I am so ready to have sex but I am not official with a guy I have been seeing and haven’t wanted to give it up.
Im a 20 year old virgin, reading what you have said about him being afriad of getting intimate, it’s obvious, he may even be thinking is this the girl i want to lose it to. However, i wouldn’t stop kissing a girl in fear of having sex. I wouldn’t ditch him, he sounds like a nice guy not many guys will go out of their way to be helpfull at a young age. He will be very nervous when you kiss in the chance of losing his virginity. As for west’s post, i know where he/she is coming from, i would be nervous incase it’s to small or im not good enough, some girls like a guy to be good in bed. Im a very self councious person im really nervous for when i actuly have sex and im the type of guy who could never hurt anyone.
I do it at night or in the shower and i feel bad afterwards… I assume ill be single for awhile because i need to work on myself esteem and social skills. People try to set me up on blind dates but i always turn them down because i might not like him or he might not like me. I need something that is a effortless connection. I am a 22 year old girl and even though people tell me I’m pretty, men look at me quite a bit and I get hit on, I never had a real bf and I am still a virgin. I don’t want it to be a casual hook up either.
The other extreme, in the shape of the Incel movement, wants others to experience their suffering. The news focuses on the violence and anger because it is easy to sensationalise, but all that does is drive people’s opinion against the whole of the community. Your difference in years may elicit some unfortunate assumptions and remarks, but if you truly care about each other, stay focused on how you feel. “Try remembering the things that you love about the person as an individual,” says Paulette Sherman, a psychotherapist and certified dating coach.
“In terms of life experience and maturity, an age gap at 50 or 60 isn’t particularly dramatic.” Some folks hear the phrase “Beggars can’t be choosers” and don’t realize it applies to them. As unromantic as it is to say, there’s no such thing as a totally perfect partner, especially if you, yourself, are far from perfect. It takes a lot of willpower to actually admit that there are problems that need to be fixed before you get into dating again. Some of these guys swear off dating permanently, other guys are just doing a temporary break.
I mean, even if you lose your virginity, you still may never get married. Some go on date after date, and have over 70 sex partners but never got close to marriage. Many people in my family are not virgins. So, if your church makes you feel bad about it, maybe finding a new and more open-minded church works better. Not a new religion necessarily, just a different church. Sometimes it’s not the religion that’s bad, but the people within that particular church.
So don’t think that what everyone says is the truth, ’cause it’s not. To be honest, I think having sex is great. It got boring after a while Adultspace though, always with the same person, guess we never managed to reinvent our sex life did we… I’m in the same position except I’m 25!
I still feel alone in that experience, of feeling unable, unattractive, unloved, unwanted, and not knowing what I bring to any relationship. I’m a 24 year-old black male, and as you can guess by the title I’m a virgin. There’s a lot more to me than just virgin, but for this piece it holds relevancy. I not only have remained a virgin, but I am also have never been on a date or kissed a girl either. My reasons behind this are I guess three-fold. The first one is I guess religious, despite my Christianity is more relationship than religious.
I don’t want him to feel intimidated and if we do have sex, I want him to know how I feel that he chose me for his first time. So my suggestion is to stop identifying yourself as a “female virgin”. The number of past experiences you had shouldn’t really affect how well a guy treats you, or how attentive they are to your needs. A selfish person in bed will not magically turn into a great experience if you tell them it’s your first time, and a great partner doesn’t need to know you’re a virgin to treat you right. It shouldn’t matter, so you don’t need to present it as a problem or a major trait of yours up front.
That will make a difference aswell both to you and women, different people have different expectations, different values and different ways. Many may say it’s weird, because in our society if you haven’t had sex in middle school, or HS, then you’re late or weird. That’s still only the opinion of some people. Some do, and have successfully stayed virgins until marriage.
Some waited for love, and nothing less. My third & final point really isn’t difficult at all. I guess I have been following other passions more than some girls. I really don’t want to go into clubs & bars .
Sometimes he doesn’t even want to kiss me and I’m like why won’t you kiss me? And he says he doesn’t want me to feel like this is something we have to do alll the time and then he doesn’t want me getting dissapointed if it doesn’t happen. He says he really cares about me and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. He also came over to my house last weekend whenever my cat died because he knew i was upset. I only got really in love two times in life, and those person just wanted fun, that relations ended in a blue.
This is my first time telling anyone about this. Everyone I know seems to think I got it all figured out, but I really don’t and it’s driving me insane. Which makes it even harder to ask for advice in real life. Men, please tell me what I need to do to get a date!!
Now, if you are waiting for marriage, that’s an entirely different story-most men probably wont date you. Let’s say you are dating this really nice girl and you are genuinely fond of this relationship. It’s been a few dates already and it seems like a perfect time to get intimate but then she suddenly stops you and it turns out that she has never actually had sex with anyone. Yeah I mean it’s kind of weird for a guy to be a virgin at that age, but I didn’t think that many women would be so shallow about it.
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